That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
