Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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