So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
