I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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