turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
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