We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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