We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize