If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
