so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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