: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
