Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Randomize
