Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
