1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
nut hugger
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
