How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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