Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
