i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Randomize
