why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Randomize
