i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
Randomize
