i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
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