Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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