listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
