just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
then he tried to convert me to islam
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
