You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
