But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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