Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Randomize