Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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