im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
