Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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