She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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