arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
Randomize