i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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