i just had sex bonerless
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
