If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
