it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
