So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Randomize
