I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
is this the sara with the beer cane?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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