you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
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