Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
