Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
