C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
