Got a toothbrush?
ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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