I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
