Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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