lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I look better un-naked...
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
