So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
