his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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