you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
