She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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