Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
My Higher Power is John Stamos
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
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