also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize
