He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Randomize
