I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Randomize
