1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
Randomize
