Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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