you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
