Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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