Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
