As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
