Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
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