i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
are you so shy because you have an std?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
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