So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
a search helicopter?!
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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