ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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