No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Did I show you my penis last night?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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