I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
