only if we run a train.
done.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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