Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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